Tayside Cup

2nd Round - Vollies (Forfar) v. Bonargrove

3rd Round - Burton or Annfield v. Vollies or Bonargrove

Bonargrove 2 Michelin 2

Sorry, I missed this report - been busy.

Can't remember much, apart from someone stamping on my calf and I am now the proud owner of a sizeable scar. Can't even remember who scored - someone remind me so I can update top scorers?

Anyway, here is the match rating courtesy of Super Deko...

Deko 10 - goalkeeping masterclass
Andy 5 - never a left back
Stants 4 - at fault for first
Gav 6 - prob still drunk now
Scrim 5 - still looks like Webby in blue
Dunny 5 - floated like a bubble until subbed
Ascot Dave 6 - no goals for a change
Scotty 6 - good effort, nasty cut on calf
Gary 6 - decent effort, but where he come from?
Rada 8 - good pace, awesome header
Sheva 7 - good work rate from big man

Muzz 6 - decent impact from bench, offered different option

Bonargrove 3 Harlequins 3 AET: 7-8 on pens

The whole team attending a party the night before probably wasn't the best idea as another poor performance meant Bonar exited the League Cup at the 1st round stage. Numbers were low again, with only Scrimmy and Gary on the bench. Lee, Rada and Mussy were amongst those missing.

Conditions were fairly bad with the wind blowing down the Claypotts brae and Harleys were on top in the first half and earned themselves a 2-1 lead at half-time. Ascot Dave increased his lead at the top of the goal scoring charts with a well taken goal.

Deek pulled up injured in the first half and Scrimmy again had to deputise and with the score at 2-0 pulled off another penalty save.

Despite playing down the hill in the 2nd half, Bonar managed to find themselves quickly 3-1 down but managed to turn it around with a long range miskick from Dunny and a header from Gary. Bonar dominated the rest of the 2nd half and the majority of extra time but couldn't find a way through a resolute Harleys defence. Chico had to come off injured meaning Bonar played the last ten minutes without him.

It came down to the lottery of penalties and despite having an impressive record of saves Scrimmy couldn't win Bonar the game as misses from Gav and Craig Stevens meant Harleys progressed to the next round 8-7 on penalties.

Craig Stevens penalty was captured on a supporter's phone...




This week's ratings and comments come courtesy of club captain Andy Cameron...

Deek 1 - game to forget
Stanton 6 - few hairy moments
Gav 5 - all over the shop!
Andy 5 - drunk and all over the shop
Scotty 6 - solid and good passing
Dunny 6 - some ping!
Dave 7 - on fire!
Chico 6 - still drunk
Robbie 4 - not at the races
Scheva 6 - always a threat
Craig 5 - worst pen ever

Scrim 8 - MoM
Gary 7 - live wire, took goal well

Scottish Cup 3rd Round

Away trip v. the winner of the Lochgreen/Strathclyde Business Park tie. Both teams are West coast based I think.

Clashes with Dundee's cup final though.

Lochee Central 4 Bonargrove 3

Bonar's problem this week was that they had no goalkeeper. Or defence, midfield and forwards! Deek was away at his idol Stephen Gately's funeral and missed the game meaning Scrimmy pulled on the Admirals this week. Scotty and Chico were missing through injury meaning an unusual look to the team. Lee shifted to left back, Andy played at sweeper, and despite his match rating of 3 last week Mark "1995" Stanton kept his place.

The first half was pretty much as bad as Bonar could play and they found themselves 4-0 down at the interval. Scrimmy was beat by a 25 yard free kick down the middle for the first and then was chipped from 30 yards when he was standing on the line. Lochee's number 9 was finding plenty space and helped himself to a hattrick as Andy looked like he was still on holiday.

The management team weren't happy as you would expect and this led to a slightly improved 2nd half performance. Bonar pulled it back to 4-2 fairly quickly through an Ascot Dave penalty and an excellent volleyed finish from Scheva. Lochee never looked in real danger though and the game finished 4-3 with Dunny grabbing Bonar's other goal.

Highlight of the game was Ascot Dave rugby tackling a Lochee player half his height after a bad tackle. A brawl assumed with Celtic Bill sprinting onto the pitch to confront Dave. Someone held him back luckily.

This week's match ratings and comments come courtesy of Stants.

Ratings

Scrim 6 - lobbed again
Lee 4 - better playing his sister
Andy 6 - still in holiday mode
Gav 6 - made some crazy tackles
Stants 5 - 95 preds still got it
Dunny 3 - huffy wee dick
Robbie 6 - did his best
Ascot Dave 7 - started riot!
Mussy 6 - not the worst
Scheva 6 - take a bow son
Craig 5 - no service

Rada 6 - different attacking option
Gary 6- decent debut
Bonar Sidelines 10 for watching that shite

Bonargrove 5 Lochee Central 3

When you see Tommy King singing "Scheva's Going Home" at Claypotts then you know it's Scottish Cup time for Bonargrove. Last season, Bonar reached the last 16 where they unluckily lost to the eventual finalists and after beating Olde Mill in the first round they faced Lochee Central in the 2nd round.

Central came into the game on the back of a good win over in Tayport but despite looking good in spells they never really looked like winning and Bonar ran out comfortable winners. Lochee, who lacked any real height, looked to play the ball along the ground at most opportunities but most of their attacks were snuffed out and Bonar had the better of the chances in the game.

Bonar lined up in a familiar 4-4-2 formation but had notable absentees in Mussy, Andy and Craig Stevens. Tommy King slotted in at the back; Chico played in centre mid; and Rada was offside.

Lochee Central made a good start when Deek made a rare mistake by fumbling a weak free kick and the striker bundled the ball home. The Central players were delighted and celebrated accordingly.



Bonar hit back in rapid fashion when Scheva knocked in a goal, and Rada burst clear to give Bonar the lead after 30 mins. Central made it 2-2 soon after when Scrimmy lost his man at the back post. However, it was 3-2 at half time as Tommy slotted home a pen when Ascot Dave was assaulted.

The 2nd half looked like it was going to be tough for Bonar with them shooting up the hill and into the wind but they got off to a flyer and were 5-2 up inside 10 mins of the 2nd half. Top scorer Ascot Dave grabbed both, one from the spot when Rada was upended and the Central player was lucky not to be red carded. Lochee grabbed a consolation with 10 mins to go with a long range strike but Bonar held on and now progress to round 3.

This week's match ratings come courtesy of Scheva, word for word:

Deek 6 - flogged @ least one, gr8 keeper tho
Stants 3 - awful, broke new boots in with a wimper
Gav 7 - solid
Tommy 8 - calming influence long live the king
Scotty 7 - above average
Dunny 5 - worse than man short
Ascot Dave 8 - on fire
Chico 6 - dominated by midgets
Robbie 7 - worked hard as always
Rada 7 - missed a few but constant threat
Scheva 7 - average, probably still drunk tho....

Deko and Scrim (not used) - if Carlsberg made subbies

Bonargrove 9 Angus Thistle 2

Another week where Bonar only just managed to scrape together 11 players but luckily Angus Thistle couldn't even get 11 as they played the first half with 10 and the second half with 9. This led to a pretty dominating performance from Bonar, although Thistle did lead for the majority of the 1st half and were level 2-2 at half time.

Bonar had many notable absentees with both Gav and Ascot Dave working, aswell as Dunny not turning up. Assistant Manager Andy was missing too but he had a reasonable excuse as he was filming Soccer AM the previous day.

Scrimmy was forced to play and formed a defensive partnership with Scotty whilst Mussy made his first start in a Bonar shirt on the wing. Craig Stevens was partnered by Robbie up top as Scheva was dropped into a midfield role.

Bonar got the game off to a flyer as they scored straight from kick off when a flowing move was finished by Craig Stevens without a Thistle player touching the ball. The lead was short-lived though as Angus Thistle scored a goal soon after despite the striker being a clear 5 yards offside. Mistakes from the referee were commonplace in this game though as he seemed to take sympathy on the side who were men short and numerous offside decisions at both ends were given in Thistle's favour.

An error from Scrimmy led to Thistle taking a 2-1 lead but fortunately Scheva chipped in an equaliser on the stroke of half time. Scrimmy wasn't happy at half time and bemoaned the players for thinking it was easy due to them only having 10 men. However, after Bonar scored straight after half time Scrimmy could be heard shouting "let's get abodys name in the tele"!

Shooting down the hill and with the wind Bonar could have scored 20 but had to make do with 9 as Mussy (1 goal) and Chico (2 goals) ran riot down the wings. Mussy didn't pass once. Craig Stevens completed his hattrick in the 2nd half to move joint top of the scorers list. Robbie and Lee completed the scoring, with Lee scoring with his only touch of the 2nd half.

Victory means Bonar have got off to a good start in the Alex Smith Section with 6 points from 6 and next up is a tough game against Lochee Central in the Scottish Cup.

Match Ratings

Deek 7
Stanton 7
Scrimmy 6
Scotty 6
Chico 7
Mussy 7
Lee 5
Scheva 7
Robbie 7
Craig Stevens 8

Breaking News!

Looks like Dunny has signed for a new team, found this picture on some team's website!

I NEVERRRRRR TAP!!!

Scottish Cup 2nd Round

Bonargrove v. Lochee Central

Still Wanted

After last week's appeal, we bring you this new footage of the suspect.

Dundee Social 3 Bonargrove 2

A last minute winner by Dundee Social, in one of their only shots of the 2nd half, meant they took all 3 points ina close match at Fairmuir.

After having 17 to choose from the previous week, management team Scrimmy and Andy were left to choose from the bare bones with Thomo arriving late to take his place at left back to make up the 11 - he would only last 5 minutes before a bad knee injury forced him off to be replaced by Scrim. Social Flu was strong with Mussy, Rada, Young Scrimmy and Stanton all missing from last week. Stanton had a reasonable excuse as he was at Old Trafford and sent the guys a photo of him and his girlfriend enjoying the atmosphere.



Chico turned up steaming and took up an unfamiliar centre midfield role, whilst Mark brushed off a nasty injury to take his place up front.

Social dominated the opening exchanges and took the lead after 15 minutes when a ball over Scrimmy's head was volleyed home well by the Social midfielder. Bonar were struggling to get into the game and the same Social player rattled in a fine strike from 20 yards to double their advantage. This was the kick that Bonar needed and a tremendous strike from top scorer Ascot Dave reduced the deficit. With the height of Scrim, Mark, Dave and Gav in the team Bonar are always a threat at set pieces and a great delivery from Dunny was bundled home by Gav to equalise before half time.

The second half was a close battle, with both sides enjoying long periods of possession with Bonargrove having the better of the chances with Craig Stevens having a chance when through on the 'keeper. With 5 minutes to go a Mark header was cleared off the line and it looked as though the game was set for a draw until the referee awarded Social a soft free kick 40 yards out. The free kick was floated over the defensive line and bundled home by one of Social's 8 subs to leave the Bonar players dejected.

Despite the loss, Scrim was reasonably happy with the display and hopefully Bonar can build on this performance in the upcoming weeks.

Match Ratings:

Deek 7 - had little to do
Scotty 7 - shifted to an unfamilair RB role
Thomo 3 - injured
Gav 8 - dominated everything til late winner
Andy 7 - good performance in first game back
Robbie 7 - another solid performance
Dunny 8 - constant threat coupled with great work rate
Chico 7 - steaming
Ascot Dave 7 - cracking goal
Scheva 8 - didn't lose a header
Craig Stevens 7 - great outlet

Scrim 8 - excellent performance at LB

Stanton's New Boots

Only £110 on eBay - get yours now!

Have You Seen This Man?

Wanted for a string of indecent incidents. Last seen hanging around playparks and may have sweets in his pocket.

Olde Mill 1 Bonargrove 9

After last season's run to the last 16 of the Scottish Cup Bonargrove began this season's campaign with a trip to Lochee Park to face off against Welfare side Olde Mill. Bonar were expected to win but after rattling 9 goals past the opposition the team were left annoyed that they didn't score many more after a dominant display.

Scottish Cup fever coupled with the unusual afternoon kick-off meant a squad of 17 showed at 12:30 meaning manager Scrimmy had some difficult selection decisions prior to the game. Goalkeeper Deek and defender Young Scrim made their first appearances of the season, whilst Lee Lee Lee returned to the middle of the park to partner Ascot Dave. After a shocker in defence against Tayport, Big Mark was moved to a more familiar striking role. Stanton, Gav, Scotty, Robbie, Dunny and Craig Stevens also made the starting 11. Andy, Mussy and Chico were amongst the subs. Many were surprised that Dunny made the game after rumours he got action off a young thing the previous night.

Bonar got off to a flying start with Dunny scoring two early goals, one an overhead fluke and the other a scuff. Dunny's brace was quickly added to as Mark and Robbie netted but this only made the entire team want to get on the scoresheet as a combination of a lacking of passing and too much passing meant no more goals in the first half. Scotty was showing good attacking flair from left back and showed why many liken him to Roberto Carlos in his prime. Craig Stevens had a half to forget as he missed a few good chances, much to the bemusement of the supporters.

The second half began like the first as Bonar grabbed a couple of early goals through Robbie and top scorer Ascot Dave. There was much debate after the game as to whether it was Dog Shit Dave's goal or an own goal but after a quick vote Davie was awarded the goal. Olde Mill managed to score at some point as Dunny lost his man.

After opening up a big lead, assistant manager Andy decided to make changes and Rada replaced Big Mark and Mussy came on for Scotty. This was not to Mark's liking and he stormed up to the tunnel. Bonar controlled the remainder of the game and Rada grabbed two goals whilst Craig Stevens finally scored when a thunderbolt toe-poke which seemed to break the keeper's hand. Disappointingly, Young Scrim limped off with what looked like a reoccurence of his knee injury.

Spirits were high after the high scoring win but in reality Bonar should have scored at least 15. Stanton took the majority of the stick for getting his mum to iron his fresh pants and socks.

Scorers: Robbie 2, Rada 2, Dunny 2, Ascot Dave, Scheva and Craig Stevens.

Match Ratings:

Deek 7 - had very little to do.
Stanton 7 - another solid performance.
Scotty 7 - rolled back the years.
Gav 7 - dominant in the air.
Young Scrim 7 - kept back 4 together well.
Robbie 8 - another non-stop performance.
Dunny 8 - best performance in 2-3 years.
Ascot Dave 6 - hates a pass.
Lee 7 - hates a pass.
Scheva 7 - loves kicking water bottles.
Craig Stevens 6 - had better days.

Rada 7 - grabbed two good goals from the bench.
Mussy 6 - neat performance in middle of park.
Chico 6 - little time to impact.

Action Shot

Scottish Cup Game This Sunday

The Scottish Cup tie away to Olde Mill takes place this Sunday at Lochee Park.

Meet Lochee Park at 12:30.

Scottish Cup 1st Round Draw

Bonargrove will face new Welfare side Olde Mill AFC in the first round of the Scottish Cup. The 2nd round has also been drawn but is not available at present.






Olde Mill AFC v Bonargrove AFC
Badgers Bar v Sandys Bar
Moncrieffe Arms v Letham Hotel
Kinnoul v Strathmore Bar
Saints Club v Michelin
Fintry Athletic v Lochee Planet
Blackness AFC v Dundee Social
Birkhill AFC v Burton Albion

Scores From Sunday 29/08/09

DSMAFA - Strathmore Glazing Premier Division

Angus Thistle 1 Douglas Ath 2

Bonargrove 2 Tayport 6

Dundee SC 2 Michelin 1

Harlequins 4 Sandys 3

Lochee Central 1 Cutty Sark 5


DSMAFA - Pilot Garage First Division

AFC Kokoma 3 FC Planet 8

Club 67 9 Blackness 6

Cobbies 3 Ferry Inter 2

Fintry Ath 7 Doc Ferrys 0

New Signing Mussy Shows Off Skills

Bonargrove v. Tayport 30/08/09

Bonargrove were looking to build on their excellent start to the season when they faced off against Gayport today. After winning 6-2 in the season opener against Sandys the confidence was high but unfortunately it was Deko's 21st the night before and we only scraped 11 together when Andy pulled Chico out his bed at 10:30. Big shout out to Gav for managing to pull himself away from Gemma to make the game. Top man.



Deek remains injured so Scrimmy again deputised in goal, whilst a lack of numbers meant Scheva moved to an unusual centre half role. Scotty, Gav and new signing Stanton completed the defence. Chico and Dunny started on the wings with Dog Shit Dave and Robbie in the middle of the park. Craig Stevens and Cristiano Ronaldo were the chosen strike partnership.

Bonar got off to their customary good start when a defensive header from Big Mark fell to Sloth from the Goonies and he chipped the "scrambling" Scrimmy from 45 yards to give Tayport the lead. Almost straight from the restart Gav thought the Tayport striker was Gemma and tried to hump him leading to the ref pointing to the spot. However, Scrim made up for the first goal by saving the penalty. The rest of the half was fairly brutal with Bonar playing terrible allowing Tayport to race into a 4-0 lead. Ascot Dave pulled one back before half time when he converted/scuffed home a penalty after Rada was nailed by the 'keeper.

The management team of Scrimmy and Andy weren't happy and at half time Scrimmy blew his top and demanded a much improved second period. Everyone just laughed at him. Andy was really motivational.

Bonar came out in the 2nd half raring to go and after Mark was tripped in the box Hyndser slotted home his second penalty of the game. However, that's as good as it got for Bonar as poor defending allowed Tayport to score 2 more goals in the 2nd half whilst Bonar created very little. Highlight of the 2nd half was perhaps Chico beating the big ugly striker in the air after Sheva had failed to do so all game.

So after a disappointing 90 minutes Tayport took the three points back to bloody Fife with a 6-2 victory. Bonargrove can only improve though with many players missing today and no parties planned for the next while.

Player Ratings:

Scrimmy 5 - lobbed from the half way line
Stanton 6 - excellent 1995 Predators
Sheva 5 - waste of money
Gav 4 - shagged Gemma
Scotty 4 - shit
Chico 5 - still sleeping
Dunny 5 - lucky Moussy was ill
Ascot Dave 8 - MoM, best player by a fair bit
Robbie 7 - excellent work rate
Craig Stevens 5 - no service
Rada 4 - won penalty