Alex Smith Trophy - Bonar 2 Douglas Ath. 1

It's 11am on Sunday and Bonar only have 10 players, of those 10 players Turo was the only sober one after Sheva's engagement party the night before. No one gave Bonar a chance, including most of the Bonar, but 90 minutes later Bonar had won the first of their 3 semi-finals to reach the final where they will meet Dundee Social.

Murray "Blisters" Campbell was dragged out his bed to make up the 11 and got there 15 minutes after the start to slot into an unusual left back role and Scrim, Turo and Stants completed the back line. Dunny was playing right mid whilst his jaw was playing up front. Scotty, Dog Shit Dave and Robbie also lined up in midfield with Sheva and Nikkita up top.

The first half was quite uneventful with not many chances for either side - Douglas grabbed the only goal of the half when the striker shoved Stants to score, the referee obviously didn't see it.

Coach Cam's pre-match Friday text stated that everyone was to be there at 10am sharp so he thought it was fine to turn up at half 11. Mess.

Bonar got out of jail at the beginning of the second half when a Douglas striker missed from one yard. Soon after Douglas were reduced to 10 men when Douglas' worst player was sent off, strengthening their side. Bonar went from strength to strength and Robbie scored a bicycle kick that bounced 12 times before going in. It was all Bonargrove and the winner was coming and it fell to "Mr Bonargrove" Scrimmy to rise above everyone, and the bar, to nod home with five minutes to go. It was like a scene from Match of the Day as Scrim pushed the Bonar celebrators away before pulling out the 1990s Klinnsman celebration out the bag. Douglas pushed for the equaliser but Bonar held out and their 3 fans went mad at the end.

The beer was in full flow afterwards although Turo wasn't bothered. News filtered through that Social would be the opponents and the final would be on the 14th which left Scrimmy devastated as it clashes with a game at some shitty stadium.

Match Ratings courtesy of Rod - although some debate as to whether he could see the game through his shades....

Deek 9 - 1st choice
Stants 8 - hairy
Turo 6 - delusional
Scrim 8 - great leap
Murray 8 - blistering pace
Robbie 9 - scored overhead kick
Dunny 5 - mess
Ascot Dave 8 - doesn't pass
Scott 8 - not as good as Dave
Sheva 9 - dominant in air
Nikkita 9 - always a threat

Chico 1
Gav 1
Abody else that didnae turn up 1